Lately I’ve been enjoying talking about sex with people of all ages from different walks of life — random people I’m just meeting as well as family and friends. It drives me crazy that sex is considered taboo by and large in this country/society when in fact, it is the most organic and sacred, HOLY experience there is. Sex is how each and every one of us arrived on this planet. Are you open to relinquishing fear based mentality around having these types of conversations? If so, read on and enjoy. *As a side-note: I’m currently practicing sexual sovereignty and conscious celibacy (there is a difference) – feel free to reach out to me if you want to know more about this topic.
I relate to every aspect of this post, but particularly this: “We didn’t get enough education to know that there are thousands of other ways to make love.”
When I was in my early 20s, I was sharing time and space with a man quite a bit chronologically older than me, whom I considered my lover for the short but profound period we were interacting (we still dialogue once in a while – I will always cherish this person). And… we never actually had penetrating or oral sex. Our connection was transformational and what I would call explosively magical on all levels. We reached altered levels of consciousness and purified states of being in which we felt totally unified with God/Goddess… the Divine Source of all of Creation, without actually making love in the conventional sense, but through our eyes, energetic connection, touch, massage, cuddles, kisses, transcendent eruptions of laughter, vulnerable and stimulating communication, etc. While we naturally wanted to ‘go further’ and had the conversation about whether it was a yes or no multiple times, we both agreed that we were enjoying exploring with one another without bringing penetration into the mix. We both had the understanding that when we have sex, “We absorb each other’s qualities, whether we like it or not. In a way we BECOME each other.”
I remember us coming really close to caving in on one of several occasions – he said, “Are you ready for me to pleasure you orally yet?” Me: “Hmm…. I’m conflicted, because I am already enjoying where we are and where we’ve been so much! This is really nice.” Him: “Me too… and you know if we become lovers in this sense, it will change everything.” Needless to say I found myself even more turned on by this man and his response because of his willingness to forego what most men crave with such fervor that their self-control and will power goes out the window once they become erect. We never did end up having ‘sex,’ and wow – I was reaching other-worldly, orgasmic heights pretty much every time we were together! I’d had experiences with many lovers and plenty of sumptuous sex, but this was quite possibly the deepest, most treasured experience I’ve had with a human in the realm of intimacy and opened up an entirely new outlook on love-making and intimate relationships for me.
Here’s Sofia’s post – these words are gold yo:
“WE IMPACT EACH OTHER⠀
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The more sexually liberated you are… the less need you have for sex.⠀
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Being sexually liberated means being energetically awake from the core. Once that’s the case, naturally love becomes your driving force. Love can of course be expressed through sex, and beautifully so. But that’s not the place most people approach it from.⠀
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Most people go into penetrative sex not because they truly want it but… out of habit. ⠀
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Because that’s what we’ve been doing since we discovered how our genitals can function when another person is around.⠀
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And we didn’t get enough education to know that there are thousands of other ways to make love.⠀
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Almost all women experienced being entered before they were a full Yes to that. Sometimes they blame men for that and call them “toxic”. Sometimes they turn inwards and resent themselves for not being brave enough to say No. ⠀
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Once men grow into feeling more and out of the need to perform and get validated, they discover that penetration is a really big deal for them too.⠀
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Recently a man told me that over the last month he had sex with 3 women, and it was a mistake to do it with 2 of them. Whenever we interact with someone, especially when sexual energy is running between us we penetrate each other’s energy field. We absorb each other’s qualities, whether we like it or not. In a way we BECOME each other.⠀
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Sexual energy is the source energy of all of life. It’s the most potent force there is. Whenever it’s ignited in its raw form it amplifies everything. Including the exchange between people.⠀
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And usually it’s women who are more in tune with that, so guess what – yes, it’s us who need to bring this awareness to men.⠀
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Women need to empower men to stop trying to do things that they think are expected from them, to be these porn-inspired “impressive lovers.” ⠀
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Women, we can invite our men into presence. That’s where their greatest gift for us and for the world is.”
-Sofia Sun