I’ve been stateside from Africa for over a month now and have had a myriad of epiphanies, ideas, and memories collaborating into a whirlwind that continues to take up residence in my head. When it came time to board the plane from Accra to Frankfurt, I wasn’t sure how to feel. Sad about leaving Ghana and the precious children who had taught me so much in such a short amount of time, excited to see my friends and family, or happy to start living the remainder of the summer (I had been compiling a massive list of books over the school year that I was anxiously anticipating indulging in for pure enjoyment rather than scholastic knowledge). I sat on the plane and as all of the emotions, thoughts, and moments played in my mind like a life montage, the feeling that eventually settled over me was overwhelming gratitude. My heart is also heavy because with compassion comes the burden of acknowledging the injustice. Is it painful? Extremely. But I will let my heart be broken knowing that I would rather suffer with the suffering than forget them altogether.
The kids at Becky’s Orphanage Home became a part of me; a beautiful portrait of the unexpected burden placed on my heart for the disabled children and adults of Ghana, and a glimpse into what a huge piece of my future holds—nonviolently fighting injustice and social oppression…a diligent pursuit of equality for all members of the human faction.
Thinking back on my time in Ghana, I don’t feel like I had much, if anything to contribute, so it is a bit surreal knowing I made a difference in the lives of these kids; it was nothing more than the simplest of things—a smile here, a hug there, unceasingly offering my lap as a seat, a moment of meeting their gaze with love and compassion, an afternoon of flipping through Dr Seuss books and ‘ooohing’ at the colorful pages together, a handclap, a song and game, and a case of Miracle Bubbles/Velcro mits with a tennis ball to play catch with.
Nothing extraordinary (by Western standards), nothing anyone couldn’t do. The kids completely captured my heart on a level that human language cannot begin to illustrate in the slightest and they taught me so much about what really matters in life. If you want to become wise, spend your days with children. At the end of my stay, I purchased two ceiling fans for the room where the mother of the house (mummy, as we called her) and the kids sleep. To give you an idea of how dreadfully hot it was, the temperature was 105dg on average with 98% humidity. Mummy had tears in her eyes and a smile broad as can be when she saw the fans. I was amazed that what I considered such a miniscule gesture had evoked such sincere gratitude and excitement. While I hope that at some point the path I am traveling will allow me to use a specific skill set to drive tangible change for these precious ones and others in healthcare, I think it is important to first realize my lack, and in it, understand the simplicity of what it means to give. Making a difference is not about having an expertise or donating money, and definitely not about being completely confident in what you are doing or even knowing where to start. As long as you are opening your heart and going somewhere, you are on your way.
I think people held sort of a pipeline view of what I was doing while I was in Ghana. They saw the pictures of the smiling children and people and the colorful landscape. Most of the time, it was nothing short of amazing to love on kids and completely fulfilling to muse about the critical issues of injustice in the hope of making a difference and affecting change. But every now and then I experienced one of those days that feels like a raw slap in the face – a turbulent wave that crashes down on you and drags you under…you try to swim back to the surface for air but don’t have the energy and the mind starts to say ‘why not just give in.’ Poverty looks you in the eye and screams, “Who are you to challenge me?” Some days it was (and is – probably even moreso now that I’m home) so incredibly frustrating knowing that no matter what you do, it will never fully fix the issues. We must ask ourselves–is it better to do nothing? The answer is a definitive no.
A couple weeks ago at the library I was reading about an American woman volunteering in a refugee camp in Darfur in the Western Sudan and she said, “The difference is: for me hardship is an adventure, for them it is their life.” What an accurate and poignant revelation. I have a choice of whether or not I acknowledge this world. On some days, I somewhat understand why the majority of people prefer ignorance. But the people in Sudan, Ghana, Egypt, China, India, and so many around the world, they don’t have a choice. Ever. They can’t simply run away. They can’t turn off the National Geo channel and go to the mall for a distraction or close the book or magazine.
I happened to be born in a different country, to a different family, and somehow that makes me entitled to close my eyes if I want to. But I can’t and won’t. We (and myself included) are often so blinded by how fortunate we are to live someplace with such abundant resources – clean water, food, and 24 hour access to medical services. 3 weeks ago I was informed by the owner of the orphanage I was at that a friend I’d met died from a preventable disease – I noticed a profound anger rising in my chest as I thought of how many complaints I hear on a daily basis about the cost of a doctor’s visit.
So when I see that tiny victory, or small progress or impact that has been made by the inspirational people in this world who unfailingly take compassionate action and sacrifice what they have so that others may live happier and fuller lives, regardless of how heavy it weighs on their heart when they lay down to sleep at night—I’m going to smile and celebrate those tiny victories with everything in me, until the next waves of adversity and doubt and hopelessness crash down again… I will get back up and keep fighting the good fight. I will strive to emulate the other exemplars who haven’t turned their backs on the oppressed. It may be an incessant pattern of one step forward, three steps back—sometimes it feels like no steps forward and ten steps back, yet we have to be glad it wasn’t eleven. On days when problems and solutions are bunched together in a convoluted mess and you can barely distinguish one from the other, when things begin to look like an unchangeable, dismal highway that is never-ending, and injustice continues to throw right hooks and jabs at you…we can and should pick ourselves up and realize that we are still the ones with a choice.
I truly believe that we are all philanthropists at heart. How could one not want to work towards the betterment of all humankind when we, ourselves, are not separate from the mix… some of us are just procrastinators… some stick to the old adage: ignorance is bliss… some of us are overwhelmed by the headlines and aren’t sure where to start or give into that doubt within the mind that says, “you can’t make a real difference…. The world is already beyond fixing,” so they decide to just do nothing. So if you, like me, and the majority of others I’ve encountered, are finding your humility, be encouraged. It doesn’t take much to tune into another human being’s suffering, dreams, joys, or trials when you realize that we are all sharing the human condition and possess many of the same struggles, joys, dreams, and hopes… You don’t have to have an abundance of resources, ideas, or even time to make an impact. You don’t have to be in Africa, and you don’t have to have your ‘stuff’ together – cherish the progress with a steadfast attitude. One of the greatest transformations of all is blossoming where we are planted…the chain reaction carries on from there and the constant cycle of trying, evaluating, and reforming is a very rewarding one when it breeds positive results and change; it inevitably will if we are diligent.
I am thankful to have a small but beautiful contingent of friends I was able to come home to, a mother that I love more than life, and a future that is just as bright and exciting as traveling to another continent. I learned more than I feel capable of articulating – but this especially: When you’re faced with an opportunity, take hold of it. YOU are the only person that can hold you back. Don’t let money control the way you live or the choices you make, because it won’t last and it won’t make you happy – no material possession will – no matter how grandiose it seems at the time, see through the façade. Invest in LIFE itself and you will not have regrets. Value the relationships that make you a better person, the people in your life that challenge you, support you, and love you even though they know your flaws. Open your mind and heart to new ways of viewing the world, foreign perspectives and ideas, cultures, people, and all forms of beauty. Be open to constant self-discovery through the beautiful (and sometimes painful) process of introspection and reflection…be open to failure (it’s just an opportunity for rejuvenation, strength, and determination), and above all, be open to change because everything in this existence echoes the stark truth of impermanence. It would behoove all of us enormously to see that flowing rather than fighting is the only rational response.
